Since it’s 2022, it feels a bit forced to discuss the term, ‘Cat Lady.’
Inequality has become a buzzword in the world. From race to gender equality, this decade marks the most progressive era for civil rights issues. Global platforms give unique voices the chance to discuss personal topics. You’d have to live under a rock not to hear the messages of marginalized groups.
But what about the things we don’t say?
The prejudices and remnant pieces of history that live between the spaces of our words? Within our feelings, attitudes, and innate beliefs.
While legal and social foundations are starting to sanction the misguided actions of others, it’s difficult to police the world’s feelings.
This brings me back to ‘Cat Lady.’ I was a part of a casual discussion with a group of friends. A man in the group mentioned he had adopted another dog, totaling his roster to seven canines. Everyone gushed, crooning about his compassionate and generous heart.
When the conversation made its way to a female in the group, she spoke of her two cats and someone immediately chuckled and said, “Wow, you’re turning into quite the Cat Lady.”
I know this woman very well. She took in her second cat after finding it malnourished, filthy, and in desperate need of a family. Despite her busy work schedule and personal challenges, she dedicated all the energy and resources needed to get the cat back to its peak health.
We’re all friends in this group. I know the term was meant to be endearing. But hearing it in this context got me thinking. Why didn’t my friend receive her own flowers for her big heart? Why wasn’t there a similar term to use for my male friend’s pattern of hoarding canines?
As mentioned above, we’ve come a long way as a society. Yet, we still have so much work to do. Continuing to use words that hold the energy of white male supremacy, without questioning their origins, leads to a lot of unconscious prejudices that are hard to acknowledge.
I googled the history of Cat Lady. Solitary, mysterious, and hard to control; these become shared adjectives for the domestic cat and independent woman. Used to downplay her strength and communicate her faults.
The term cat lady is a cultural archetype meant to poke fun at career-driven young women or marriage-less older women; labeling them as social failures. It’s time for a new word.
Something that encompasses a woman who is courageous and loving. One that has the capacity to pursue self-actualization while nurturing the spirit of others. The woman who puts her healing and development before a relationship. She prioritizes herself and still develops fruitful connections.
Maybe Cat Boss. Or Lady Leader of Felines. Or something much better.
I’m a Detroit-based writer who splits her time between commercial and creative writing. I am very fascinated with exploring the different philosophies and cultures of the world. Outside of my writing, I’m an avid adventurer, an advocate for mental and social wellness, and a proud cat mom of 2.
