True and lasting happiness can be elusive, as many people search for it in the wrong places and things. We often frantically pursue happiness through success, material possessions, relationships, and experiences, but these things only provide temporary pleasure and do not lead to lasting joy. It’s possible to be wealthier than Elon Musk, have more investments than Warren Buffett, and receive more awards than Whitney Houston and still be unhappy. Similarly, one can have the latest fashion trends and materials but still feel unhappy. Unfortunately, this is the reality. And when people realize these things do not bring lasting happiness, they often resort to unhealthy comparisons to find happiness.
Unhealthy comparisons have become increasingly accepted in our culture. While it’s normal to compare ourselves to friends, colleagues, and acquaintances, and even use them as a yardstick to determine our worth, allowing these comparisons to negatively affect our physical, mental, financial, or social well-being is not helpful. Unfortunately, this is the reality of comparisons today, especially among young people. Unhealthy comparisons have become a pandemic, largely because of the rise of social media. While both young and old are affected, young people are vulnerable because of the influence of social media personalities known as “influencers.” These influencers often present a distorted and flawed version of their lives, but their illusions still draw many young people in.Â
Unhealthy comparisons drive young women to pursue unattainable beauty ideals, often at the expense of their physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Similarly, young men may feel compelled to conform to unrealistic and often mischievous fashion standards in society. Because these standards are often out of reach for many people, they can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction, sadness, and even worthlessness.
Unfortunately, the problem of unhealthy comparison extends beyond appearance. Today, young people often measure their success against the accomplishments of others, which can lead to feelings of failure and low self-esteem. Regrettably, this culture of comparison has prevented many of us, bright and talented, from fulfilling our potential, as we constantly compare ourselves to others and inadvertently undermine our confidence and potential. It’s clear that this damaging practice hinders our growth and development, and we must address it head-on.
We have the power to make a positive change by shifting our gaze away from superficial measures of beauty and the search for transient happiness through materialism. We cannot reduce beauty to physical appearance; rather, it lies in the values and virtues that we embody. And we cannot derive lasting happiness from comparisons. As Alexandra Stoddard, a lifestyle expert who is well-known for her books on personal growth and self-improvement, once said, “When you compare yourself to others, you are inviting unhappiness into your life.” We must resist the urge to compare ourselves to others, as this only leads to feelings of inadequacy and sadness. Instead, we should focus on our personal growth and development, and celebrate our unique talents and accomplishments without measuring ourselves against others. Remember this wise saying by Theodore Roosevelt, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Yetunde is smart, kind, and has a lovable personality. A constant learner with an impressive work ethic and terrific creative skills. She is devoted to personal and spiritual growth and she cherishes the company of people, books, and nature.
