Is a parent’s right to share greater than a child’s right to privacy?
Every day, parents share pictures and videos of their kids on social media. It’s a sweet way of showing pride in their child, telling stories that may benefit their community, and sharing memories friends and family may like to see. It also is the foundation of their lifelong internet identity.
Curiously, while children are often not allowed to have their own social media presence until a certain age, their parents create one for them. Children born after the advent of social media will have their entire lives cataloged on the internet, from birth to first steps, baby’s first haircut to their first hospital visit, and every cute bubble bath in between.
The scary side of sharing
Sharenting, the combination of “parenting” and “sharing”, has become a topic of ethical debate. Negative consequences range from embarrassing a child to exposing them to potential online sexual abuse.
While the latter is extreme, a survey by the E-Safety Commissioner of Australia found that nearly 50% of the 45 million images found on websites sexually exploiting children originated from Facebook, Instagram, and parental blogs. The photos remained mostly unedited, depicting children playing or posing innocently for their parent’s cameras.
We’re all familiar with data collection, and as adults, we consent to or reject requests from sites to use our private information. This information includes photographs and written posts, and this consent extends to any children featured on social media profiles.
Barclays Bank predicts that two-thirds of all identity theft will have a connection to sharenting by 2030.
Why do share in the first place?
Parents stand to gain the most from sharenting, though this isn’t always a bad thing.
Originally, the purpose of social media was connection. We joined to share moments with friends and relatives and to widen our communities.
However, friend and follower counts are well into the thousands on average, and high engagement is a concern of even the most casual users. The admirable intent of social media no longer remains.
Sharing as a means to create community and gain support from peers enables parents to overcome the anxiety and stress of childcare. In lieu of traditional therapy, online support groups or forums provide accessible comfort for busy parents.
Posting allows us to publicly display our pride. Social media is the soapbox we yell our children’s accomplishments. Not only does it notify others of their growth, it can instill confidence in them.
On the other hand, sharing in search of attention, sympathy, or validation uses children’s information to give caretakers quick dopamine fixes. Not all parents think this way, but the current prevalence of social media has cemented these feelings as benefits of posting.
In all instances, a child’s information and experiences are shared. So where should the line be drawn, and how do we decide what is the right way to share what isn’t?
It all comes down to intent and consent
Two questions often aren’t asked while sharenting.
First, who benefits from this post? If the answer is anyone other than the child, it might be time to rethink.
Second, does this child consent to having this information shared? Not only will asking this encourage safe social media practices, it teaches children that consent matters. In the future, they’re likely to ask permission from others before posting their images or mentioning them online. It also encourages a sense of bodily autonomy and ownership, showing children they have control over who sees them and what is shared.
Consent dives into the heart of this issue, a parent’s right to share versus a child’s right to privacy.
New Privacy Legislation
With individual privacy and the long-term impact of sharenting in mind, some countries have taken legal action to ensure children’s privacy.
France unanimously passed a bill protecting children’s right to their image. Bruno Studer, an MP of Emmanuel Macron and proponent of the legislation, stated, ” The message to parents is that their job is to protect their children’s privacy,” citing that on average children have 1,300 pictures of themselves circulating on the internet by age 13.
The bill allows children to take legal action against their parents for posting images without consent. Parents are now responsible for ensuring the safety of their child’s image and can face legal action for excessive posting of it. In the event one parent disagrees with the posting frequency of the other, a judge can ban one or both parents from ever posting images of their child until they reach maturity.
Meanwhile, Argentina, the European Union, and the Philippines have implemented the Right to be Forgotten, guaranteeing the option to remove personal information from internet searches under certain circumstances. If the information is deemed no longer relevant, useful, or was collected and shared unlawfully, individuals have the right to erase the data.
Unfortunately, no such law exists in the United States. Posting on social media falls under the First Amendment, which is why our liable and slander laws are less than ideal.
To Post or Not to Post
Consequences of sharenting vary from minor instances of indignity to dangerous use in pornography. The likelihood of identity theft is expected to correlate with sharenting, affecting children with larger digital footprints soon.
Losing the ability to share means the disappearance of valuable community members who offer comfort and resources to parents in need. It also spells the loss of performative sharenting in search of attention and validation.
Children should be protected, but where that protection begins is another question. Depending on the country, limits to sharenting are subjective.
The best we can hope for is to be considerate when posting. Ask for a child’s permission before posting. Check in about who benefits most from sharing.
If the ethicality of online sharing is concerning, explore methods to find similar benefits outside of social media. What are other ways to express pride in a child’s accomplishments? When seeking resources on child nutrition, sleep, or well-being, can the experience of raising a child be separated from the child before sharing?
As with most ethical dilemmas, there is no right answer. All we can do is try.
Essie Somma is an artist and freelance writer exploring beauty and difficulty within the human experience. She has been traveling full-time for two years, learning about new places and cultures, and bringing all of her experiences to her work. She feels endlessly grateful for getting to share her work with others.
